Sunday, November 23, 2008


Tonight's blog is all about non-attachment. From what I've learnt over the past few months, and experienced, I can say that being able to stay non-attached is a great way to live. I practice non-attachment because I know I am not loosing anything by doing so. When I say non-attached, I do not mean disconnected. It just means that whatever the outcome, you have not lost anything within you and you can get on with living. In past experience - when I have been attached to a partner and the relationship has ended, then the following would happen. I would give myself the reasoning that I deserve time to heal from such heartbreak. I would spend my days thinking that the likelihood of meeting, let alone being with someone as amazing as I considered my last partner to be an impossible outcome. The thing is - why should I (or anyone for that matter) spend time after the end of a relationship being unhappy about the outcome when we could be living in the present moment, instead of reliving the past. I guess what I've heard (and experienced) is that commonly one person in a relationship does not appreciate the time they have spent with their loved one, so that when things come to an end, they wish they could of done things differently, and sometimes even end up blaming themselves. The best way to really appreciate your loved one, is to be present with them in every moment. There is no need to think about the past or the future when you are with them at the present moment. Enjoy the moment with them. Make them happy and you will be happy. Try to spend time with them being as positive as you can. Do not dwell on things. Try to control your imagination so that negative thoughts don't come to mind. You have the choice to think what you want to think. You are not your thoughts. You are the thinker of the thoughts. Everything happens for a reason in my eyes, therefore, I will and accept everything that happens.

This idea applies to "personal" possessions as well. What makes an object personal to you? I guess this would be something you have bought, found, made or been given which you have some sort of attachment to, emotional or what not. Say you kept all your personal possessions in your room, and your room happened to burn down. Well, you would be without your possessions and your room, and I'm sure most people would be quite unhappy about this. It is important to see that you are not your possessions. What you call your own, has never and will never really be your own. There is no need to see things as your own. There is no need to create an identity with the objects you own. SO, you've lost your possessions. What to do now? It is at times like these were you can look beyond possessions, beyond the "I", the self. Along with your destroyed possessions, your room has also been damaged. In all reality though, your room is not your room, it is a room in which you live. The way society has been constructed has given everyone the idea that we are all separate human beings. That by owning certain material objects give us a higher or lower status, that we can use objects to explain who we are. What is inside is who you truly are. Have you ever thought about monks and their lifestyle? From the types of monks I've read about, they do not care for money, for clothing, for possessions, for hair styles, for luxurious beds and so on. Ah, if we could all live like this, the world would be a better place. There is nothing wrong with having all these things though, but it is when you separate yourself from others because of these things. When you believe you are better than someone. When you believe you are incapable of living without a certain item. This is when it becomes a problem. Today, if the guitar I have bought was to be smashed into thousands of little pieces, it would be not a problem at all. I am not attached to this guitar. I can always get another, and another, and another. Next time something that you own gets ruined, lost or stolen, take notice of your reaction and have a look inside you. Have you really lost anything? Your soul? Maybe this has happened to test you? Maybe this has happened for a certain reason? Maybe it's time to move on. Everything takes time - and learning to be unattached is not as easy as it seems but it is definately worth taking notice of. I hope this has given you an insight into practicing non-attachment.

I hope we all understand that even if you or a friend of yours does not follow this, it is okay. Accept this. Say a friend has just bought an expensive car that he/she saved up for a year to buy. The first day they take this car on the road, there is an accident and the car is written off. Your friend is in need of someone to complain to. Your friend is angry and upset at the situation. The best thing you can do in these types of situations is to not feed her negative emotions. Remain positive. Having a car written off is not a bad experience. It is just an experience, and how you choose to react to that experience is up to you entirely.

Coming up next, non-resistance and non-judgment!

I hope you have all had a beautiful weekend - I sure have.
Embrace the beauty around you for it is always there.


  1. Thank you for that interesting tidbit. It took me several years to realize something like this, I feel quite silly! :) Still, no harm in me feeling like a silly child! :D Guess who this is :P

  2. if you lost your arms and ears you probably wouldn't buy another guitar.


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